Sigh.
December 02, 2011 // 0 comments
Hi everyone. I'm thinking of blogging since I don't know what to do. How was my anniversary? It went perfectly fine, but not fun. I just wish something could happen :/ I cry myself out today. And it's 6:33am, but I'm still awake. I can't control myself now. I can easily cry, laugh and be mad without no reason. Well, there is actually a reason, but the reason is just too stupid. My bedtime is all messed up. I usually sleep after Subuh and will wake up at 10. Then I'll go out somewhere to eat, I'll be back home then I'll sleep. I feel like a total mess! I don't get it, why life is so boring nowadays.
I miss him. I've been thinking about him since the last day of school. I cried that day, thinking of how can we ever meet again. I want to meet him so badly, but when I think about it over and over again, I changed my mind. After then I feel like I don't want to meet him at all. Cause I am shy and I'll always feel ugly when I meet him. He's special and he means a lot to me. I just can't stop missing him :/ Feeling like killing myself just to stop these nonsense.
Yeah, things are getting different. The way he talks, the way he chat with me. It's different. It's been 2 days without a good morning and a good night text. I just wish he know that I can't sleep without his goodnight text. Unless I'm too tired and I will end up sleeping by my own. I just don't know why things are getting different :( My girlfriends, they don't talk to me anymore. I feel so annoying when I talk to them. The way they treat me, like I'm a total stranger. And that saddens me. Everything's switched.
Now, usually my boy friends will say hi and make those stupid jokes like me and my girlfriends used to :/ I don't get it, why are boy friends nicer than my own bestfriends? :/ It's DIFFERENT. How can I start this new year happily? Or maybe they want me to switch into another school or something? If that so, I will definitely change my school. But then I'll be missing you guys.. Hm. I feel lonely. Lonely. Lonely. Lonely.
Nobody likes me anymore. I'm just like the trashcan over the corner huh? I get it. Gah, I know no one will read this freakish long crappy thing. Who even give a fuck about me? I'll go to sleep now. But before that, if you think I'm an attention seeker, you should really think what are you doing here, reading this now. I'm not an attention seeker, you're just giving a fuck about me. Right? Yeap, totally.
Night darlings.